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Friday, 24 August 2007

  • The Lost Art of Xanga

    I've decided that the decline of Xanga is truly a tragedy.

    Once upon a time people used to share their thoughts and ideas and encouragement with each other here on Xanga. People used words to express themselves and they shared their hearts.

    Now MySpace has taken over. Now people don't have to share their words and wisdom, their thoughts or ideas. As long as their profile picture is trashy enough and their profile has enough innuendo to shock a porn star. Blogs are few and far between, and when they are written their depth is disheartening.

    Facebook is no better. Who wants to write a truly moving entry when instead you can poke someone? Or THROW A SHEEP AT THEM? What does that even mean? Virtual food fights are overrated and an incredible waste of time. And again, the focus is on the visual, post pictures, tag your friends, see who can have the most drunken nights available for the world to see. Awesome.

    Don't get me wrong, in the midst of the disgusting cyberworld, there are small treasures. Profiles that proclaim their owner's love for Jesus or profiles that fight for worthy causes. Even more rare, but truly a treasure, sometimes you will find a blog that, although hidden behind the small title that you must click on to read further, speaks to your heart. And because that kind of beauty is so rare, it stops you in your tracks every time.

    That's why I love Xanga. I'm a writer, I understand the power of words and how lasting they are. So why don't we use them anymore? Why do we need to have all of our senses entertained? Sometimes a couple simple words speak louder than all of the bells and whistles that the world says we need.

    My dad passed away three years ago. And today I was looking through old emails. I opened one up from him from five years ago. I clicked on it, and this is what I saw.

    I LOVE YOU.

    That's it. Nothing more. And it was enough to take me back to my daddy's arms, the arms I haven't felt around me in three years. It was enough to fill me to overflowing with the reminder of how deep my father's love for me was. And as I browsed through my inbox, and opened email after email from my dad, each one written soley to remind me of how much he loves me, I realized how priceless those words were. I can hold onto those words for the rest of my life and no one can take them away from me. Not ever.

    Yes I have a MySpace and a Facebook...but today I am challenged to share my heart through my words once again. Thanks to my daddy, who used his words to build me a lifetime worth of love to hold onto.

    I'm using my words again...

    Let's bring the art of Xanga back.

    -K

Thursday, 08 February 2007

Saturday, 06 January 2007

  • (cue OC theme music)

    California.....

    Here we come...

    We're leaving. Today. For two and a half months of whatever God has for us. I'm gonna miss everyone at home while we're gone, but I am so excited to see what happens in this season. Your prayers are incredibly appreciated.

    -K

     

Wednesday, 20 December 2006

  • When I was growing up I always knew Christmas was coming when Mom would leave us at home with Dad and she would go Christmas present shopping. When we heard the garage door announce her return, we were warned to close our eyes while she carried our, just out of reach, treasures inside. I would close my eyes but my heart would beat faster just imagining what kind of things she had gotten for me.

     

    Did she get me the one thing that I can’t live without?

    Did she get me the thing I scarcely hoped to dream for?

    Or would I be disappointed by my gifts?

     

    She would then proceed into her room and close the door. We knew that just behind her closed door there were treasures that were meant for us, but it wasn’t yet time for them to be ours. But it didn’t mean I didn’t dream. It didn’t mean my brother and sister and I didn’t speculate about what we would be getting. We all knew that she was putting the bags into her closet and covering them with blankets until she had time to wrap them. It was like some horrible form of torture. The treasure was so close, yet we couldn’t see it our touch it. We had no idea what it was.

     

    Of course we had our speculations and our hopes and dreams. But that’s exactly what those were, just dreams. And who knew if they would even come true.

     

    Walking by the closet, or worse yet into it to get a pair of socks, was the worst part. You could see the mound of treasure covered by the blankets. Taunting you, mocking you.

     

    That stupid blanket.

     

    Couldn’t it accidentally slip off and reveal what was hidden underneath?

    Couldn’t I just lift up the corner of the sheet with my foot and happen to glance underneath?

     

    But there was always a voice in the back of my head telling me that if I looked, somehow my mom would find out. Or maybe the presents would just disappear into thin air because they weren’t meant to be seen yet.

     

    Whatever it was, something kept me from ever peeking at my Christmas presents.

    Never once did I look…but man did I want to.

     

    And then we were forced to endure the most horrible form of torture, even worse than the covered mound in the closet. My mom would lock herself in her room for hours and we would hear her cutting festive paper and tape ripping and we knew she was wrapping our treasures. When she was done wrapping them, she would carry them into the living room, where Amber and Stuart and I were waiting with bated breath, and she would arrange the gifts under the tree. Knowing the torture she was causing the entire time. She knew, and she loved it. And then we all rushed over to the tree and sorted out which packages were ours. We could see their shape now, we could shake them and feel them, but we still didn’t know what they were. But our desire to know only increased the closer we got to the treasures.

     

    I so badly wanted to know what my treasure was to be, that I never stopped to think about the joy that my parents took in buying me something they knew I would love, wrapping it up, and making me wait, and then seeing my face when I finally saw my treasure for myself. They loved to give me gifts because they love me, and because I was made to wait, the surprise was even more sweet.  

     

    Their purpose in making me wait to see their intended treasures for me, was not to torture me or cause me pain. It was to increase my joy in the end.

     

    I am learning that my God is the same way. He knows exactly what treasures He has in store for me. And he delights in giving me little glimpses of what they could be and allowing me to dream about them. He has them hidden away for his own perfect timing and when it is His timing, not only will He give me the treasures he has stored away for me, but he will delight in seeing the joy that they bring to me.

     

    We all desire to know things that we cannot know, and daily I find myself asking God about my treasures, about the things that he has promised me. And he says over and over, be patient my child. We all want to know where we will end up, what our calling is, who we will marry, what will happen with this situation or that. But what we so often overlook is the joy that God finds in surprising us when we least expect it.

     

    It’s so easy to want to sneak a peek under that blanket…

    But it’s so much better when we wait for the perfect moment, then not only do we get to enjoy the treasure, but the gift-giver gets to see our faces when we open the gift we have waited so long for.

     

    Of course I still ache to know what treasures await me.

    But I’m not going to try and figure it out before it’s time.

    Surprise me… 

Thursday, 14 December 2006

  • Remember Choose Your Own Adventure books?

     

    You’re sitting there enjoying a perfectly nice story, and then you get to the bottom of the page and you have to make a choice…

     

    If you want the story to go in this direction, turn to page 56.

    If you want the story to go in this direction, turn to page 34.

     

    And then you have to choose.

    Way easier said than done.

     

    I feel like so often that is what my life is like. I’m walking along, enjoying myself, getting comfortable, and then I’m faced with a choice.

     

    If you want your life to go in this direction, choose this.

    If you want your life to go in this direction, choose that.

     

    And so often I stand there and stare at the options, weighing every single possible outcome for each decision, making lists of pros and cons, praying and hearing God, and then questioning God. I psych myself out, I get overly excited, I take a trial step in one direction and then jump back, unable to commit fully to one or the other. It’s a disaster.

     

    I remember reading the Choose Your Own Adventure books when I was little and I remember getting to a choice and choosing one thing, and then going back and choosing the other one also. I would try and read as many different stories as I possibly could within each book.

     

    Isn’t that how we treat life sometimes?

     

    We get to a choice. We make a choice. And then instead of committing fully to that path, we run back and try out other paths to see if they would have been a better choice. Or, even if we never actually go backwards, we still look around us and wish that we could know what the other option would have led to.

     

    But that’s the beauty of Choose Your Own Adventure. Each choice is followed by more and more choices. It’s not as if you make one choice and then you can see the entire path laid out before you, you must continue to choose your own adventure, time and time again. There is no way to ever know all of the different ways your story could have ended up, the possibilities are endless.

     

    But there is a God who guides you, never forces you, to the best path for your life. You will still be faced with choices, and sometimes they will all seem like good options, but you must choose one. And you must commit fully to it. Don’t let fear overtake you, don’t let “what if’s?” dictate your life, don’t let curiosity about where the other paths would lead draw your focus from your current path, and don’t miss out on God’s best for you because you stand there for so long trying to make a decision.

     

    What does your heart tell you? What is the Lord whispering in your ear? Which path takes you in the direction of the promises God has made to you? Which path requires the most sacrifice? Which path is the easy way out? Which path is your destiny?

     

    The best part of standing at these choices is that we do not stand there alone. We are traveling through this great adventure with the Creator of the Universe and if we will let him, he will take us on a greater adventure than we ever could have imagined. But we must listen, and we must be willing to lead where he follows, and we must choose our adventure with strength and comfort found in the fact that we know God is guiding us in that way.

     

    Life is scary. Choices are even more frightening. But Christ is steadfast and he will only guide us to his absolute best.

     

    So choose your own adventure, and then keep your eyes straight ahead.

     

    Amazing things are about to happen…

     

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sendme

  • Visit sendme's Xanga Site
    • Name: Kelsey
    • Country: United States
    • State: New York
    • Birthday: 4/3/1983
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 4/3/2004

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About Me

  • I'm tired of living my life for other people. It's time to live my life in reckless abandon to my true Prince. It's not easy and it doesn't come without sacrifices, but looking into the joy filled eyes of my Prince, when I devote myself to Him, makes every heart ache and tear worth the pain. I want to be the lily among the thorns.

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